A new me
As a result of my counselling, I began to understand more and more about the way my thought process worked. When I was feeling ok, I found it easy to think positive but when anxiety or depression kicked in, I began to think very negative and my old feelings of worthlessness would start to come back. This was when I was most in danger of the self harm urges returning.
Whereas in the past, I had needed to see self harm injuries to know that my inner pain was real, I now realised something else about myself. I already had a few tattoos which all meant something special to me. What I hadn't realised was the positive impact tattoos had on me. They were almost the opposite side of the coin. They were the positive affirmations of what I was unable to believe when I was depressed or anxious. I needed to see the positive. My tattoos began to tell the story of my recovery.
One year self harm free
All my tattoos have been done at Penetrated Ace in Dukinfield. I have built up a relationship with the people there and they fully understand the importance of each tattoo. Another set of wonderful friends who have helped in my recovery.
A reminder of certain moments that have changed my life
Each and every one of my tattoos has deep meaning to me and symbolises someone or something special in my life. My guardian angel is one of my most important tattoos as I promised myself I would not have this done until I was sure I would not self harm again.
It is now a standing joke when I come out of Penetrated Ace and say "last one"
My Guardian Angel
My story is ongoing.......
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Eugene, Elaine, Haley, Dee and John at Penetrated Ace for their friendship.
I would like to thank Steve for not only being my tattooist but a wonderful person who I have shared many thoughts and feelings about self harm and depression with, who understands exactly what I want my tattoos to mean and who puts up with me when I constantly change my ideas x
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